Expectations vs. Reality

Hey guess what? There really isn’t a pandemic!….If only this was just an April fools joke gone wrong! 

So many of us expected to be going about our normal daily lives, engaging in our usual routines on a day like today. We were busy making plans and building our lives, setting even more expectations for ourselves and those around us. 

The Reality is we are actually in the middle of a Pandemic. With this new wave of information came a whole new set of expectations. Thoughts about how long we would be out of work or school, how long we wouldn’t be able to see friends or family, when we could travel again, when life would return to “normal.” 

Maybe you are finding yourself feeling frustrated, tired, and maybe even little bit scared (all totally normal experiences and feelings by the way!). Every time you start to feel a sense of normalcy returning, you're catapulted to the present chaos as some new restriction, projected date, or plan gets pushed into your reality. 

During these chaotic and uncertain times there is one skill/strength that will help get you through it; being flexible. Expectations need to shift as the information shifts. The tighter you hang on to your old definition of “normal”, the more disappointed you are going to feel. Flexibility in this context means being able to shift those expectations to something more realistic and more in line with the current available information. Flexibility means taking a deep breath and taking it one step at a time. 

Here’s the thing about coping skills, what might have worked initially or in certain situations doesn’t mean it will work every single time and across all situations. The healthiest coping skill is one which gives us the space and opportunity to be flexible and change it. 

​For now the best we can do is focus on today. What do we know, what resources do we have, what can we control? Taking it one day at a time ensures we are living in the present and minimizes the risk of disappointment and frustration.

As Zen Master Thích Nhất Hạnh once said, “Smile, breathe and go slowly.”

Stay safe and be well.

​-Janette